Transparency.

My mind has been going in different directions and I don’t even know where to begin. But I’ve held in my feelings for too long that it was starting to become self damaging.

I permanently cut ties with my ex-boyfriend the other day. I told him to never contact me again and I am glad that he respected my wishes. I thought it would be a good idea to maintain some kind of friendship with him, but his toxicity lead me to believe that remaining friends with him wasn’t worth it. Plus I was resentful for what he did to me in the past and what he did literally broke me. This was a man that ignored my calls when my car broke down in the middle of Oakland and disappeared when I found out that my daughter was ill. On top of that, he was cheating and discussing our relationship issues with other girls, without communicating with me first. When I felt at my lowest, he wasn’t there for me. So if he wasn’t there for me during that time in my life, what makes you think he would be there for me as a friend now? Some people are not meant to stay in your life. Ever since we broke up last year, I chose to live a fairly private life, especially in any kind of relationship I get into. I just chose to share this personal part of my life because it took me a lot of strength to let this piece of my past go. And I know my friends are like “It’s about fuckin time!” LOL

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